


I was never good with words

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Flatliners (1990)
Genre: Aphasia, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 15:29:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4105924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Nelson doesn't need Dave and one time he finally admits he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I was never good with words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eirenical (chibi1723)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi1723/gifts).



_What can I say?_  
I was never good with words  
My tongue always got it wrong  
Hoping that you knew all along  
I love you  
\- Alex Clare

 

One  
~

"I'm fine," Nelson mutters, annoyance starting to overrule the exhaustion in his voice, and Dave realizes that it's probably the fiftieth time he's asked. The fact that they've been waiting in the ER intake for almost an hour doesn't make the situation any easier.

"No dizziness? Faintness?" he presses, because after what Nelson's been through....

"I'm fine," Nelson says again, but softens the words with the hint of a smile, reaching out to touch Dave's arm. "Dave. Really."

A young woman in scrubs steps into the intake, clipboard in hand. "Mr... Wright?" When Nelson raises his hand she looks him over - appreciative, appraising - and smiles. Dave's used to that look, and he feels his blood boil that she should be using it on Nelson _now_ when he's just barely escaped death and he -

"Well that's quite the name," she says with a little giggle. "Says you... oh my. Received an electric shock and your friend had to resuscitate you?"

Nelson gives a soft huff under his breath, lips twitching into the hint of a smile, and carefully gets to his feet. "Yes."

"Well, let's see if we can make your night a bit better, shall we? Come with me, please."

"I'll wait here?" Dave offers, and receives a shadow of a smile in reply, Nelson's hand touching briefly to his shoulder as he passes.

The urge to follow burns hot in his core. After what's happened he doesn't want to let Nelson out of his sight for an instant, let alone trust his care to this ditz. But he forces himself to take a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Nelson will be fine without him.

~~~

Two  
~

Waiting and worrying turns out to be the name of the game after Nelson's... incident. Physically, nothing had turned up out of the ordinary. He'd passed his EKG with flying colours, which had been one of Dave's primary concerns. But it hadn't taken long for either Dave or the medical staff to notice a certain... slowness and struggle to respond when he was asked a question, and a simplicity to his speech. Dave couldn't help but fear the worst.

The Reader's Digest in the neurologist's office is five years old and looks it, the cover half ripped off and the pages dog-eared. Dave flips through it again, letting the magazine fall open to one of the humor sections just to try and keep his mind occupied. Just to think about anything that but the possibility that he's failed after all, that Nelson's quicksilver mind and cocky brilliance might be -

The door opens to the Neurologist's office, and Dave's on his feet even before Nelson's completely out of the door.

"How did it go?"

"Aphasia," Nelson replies immediately, forcing the word with fake confidence, and his lips twist in annoyance.

"Very good, Mr. Wright." The Neurologist is a handsome woman in her 40's, and she steps close to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "At this rate you'll be back to a hundred percent in no time."

"What can I do?" Dave asks immediately, and the Neurologist's lips purse as she appraises him.

"Are you family?"

"I'm his primary caregiver right now."

"But you're not - "

"He's fine," Nelson frowns as he replies. "Tell. Please."

"All right, then." She takes a moment longer to regard Dave, making him acutely aware of how scruffy he looks. She steps back into the office for a moment, returning with a large pamphlet and a box, which she hands to him. "Mr. Wright's Aphasia is fortunately very mild, a good case scenario considering the accident. Neither his intelligence nor his auditory and written comprehension appear to be affected, and he can communicate through writing without concern. But don't let him fall back on that. Read through the section in the pamphlet on speaking impairment, it will help. He needs to rebuild his verbal language skills. I've arranged for a referral to a speech therapist, but use those flashcards at home. Make him read aloud to you. Make him talk to you. The first two to three months are crucial."

He can see Nelson withdraw from the conversation as she speaks, quiet in a way Dave knows from years of experience means insecurity. He tries to meet his gaze, offering a wide smile. "Never thought I'd see the day when I'd have to _encourage_ you to run that mouth, Nelson."

Nelson snorts and cracks a smile, calmly raising a hand and extending his middle finger.

Dave mock-frowns. "Oh come on. You can do better than that."

He sees hurt and frustration war briefly on his friend's face before the normal cockiness hides them, his lips moving silently for a second before the words come. "Fuck. You."

"There you go, you don't need me at all. Fuck you too, buddy."

"This isn't a joke, sir." The Neurologist doesn't seem impressed, and turns to Nelson, stepping closer. Too close to be completely professional in Dave's opinion. "You can come back and see me anytime, understand? If you don't like your therapist or if you need - " she glances to Dave, disapproval plain in her expression, " - any other kind of support."

Whether or not she's trying to be flirtatious, at least Nelson seems oblivious. "Thank you," he says carefully, then turns for the office door, trusting Dave to follow him.

Dave nods to her, too angry at her words to trust his own, and takes Nelson out of the clinic.

~~~

Three  
~

Everyone's recommendation is to keep Nelson's life as normal as possible throughout his recovery, which Dave quietly thinks is absurd. How can anything be normal after everything they've done? Still, he takes Nelson back to school. He appeals his suspension and finds it quietly and surprisingly lifted, and all five of them try and settle back into routine with the heavy knowledge of their discoveries hanging over their heads.

It's more of a relief than Dave will admit to be able to just focus on Nelson's recovery. He's at Nelson's expensive apartment far more often than his own, and enough of his things have accumulated there that the barren modernism has begun to actually appear lived-in.

If Nelson minds he doesn't say anything, but then Nelson still doesn't say much, despite Dave's work to the contrary. He attends his speech therapy, of course (and Dave tries to ignore that his therapist is somehow once again a far too attractive and flirtatious woman and how the fuck does that even _happen?_ ) , completes his exercises and his homework, but once all the boxes are checked his friend falls back into a tired-feeling quietness and introversion that isn't like the Nelson he knows at all and worries Dave very much.

Dave pushes as much as he can, whenever he's with him. Fills the emptiness with inane chatter, talks through their schoolwork, pushes Nelson with questions that force him to step away from the comfort of monosyllabic answers. But all he seems to accomplish with it is to push Nelson into a silent anger born of frustration until he refuses to speak at all.

"Nelson, come on." The fourth time Nelson locks himself in his bedroom Dave lets his head fall against the door with a thunk. "You can't just lock me out. I'm not going home this time. Either you come out here and finish this conversation or I'm going to stand here and talk at you until you do." There's no response, so Dave continues. "If you think I'm joking, I'm not. I have no qualms about talking at you all night. If I run out of things to say I'll just start reciting movie lines. Do you know how many times my younger sisters have watched sixteen candles?" He pitches his voice higher. "I really love Rudy! He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, but not for six months in a row!"

"Dave."

Dave smiles hopefully at the closed door. "Yeah?"

"Fuck. Off."

"No. Now are you coming out?"

He hears Nelson sigh. "I don't have - need...."

"My help? Yeah, I know you don't, but I'm sticking around anyway. It's part of the deal, you know. You brought me into this and made me promise to bring you back and as far as I'm concerned that means sticking it out until you're a hundred percent again. You're not getting rid of me."

"Dave."

"Yeah?"

"Stop up. _Shut_ up. Wait."

Dave gives in, waiting silently on the other side of the door until he hears the sound of paper tearing. A moment later a piece of loose-leaf slides out along the hardwood under the door.

Nelson's normally exacting script is a messy scrawl, but still readable. _'Look, you don't owe me anything, I don't need you to do this. I release you from all promises and obligations. I know you have better things to do. Stop wasting your time with me.'_

Dave closes his eyes for a moment and takes it in. Then he regards the door with a sigh. "Nelson... please come out. Or let me in. Just... let me say this and I'll leave, okay?"

There's no response but silence, and just as Dave's about to try again he hears the slide of the bolt pulled back. Then Nelson's looking up at him, blue eyes reticent behind his glasses, blond hair mussed. It puts Dave in mind of a teenager throwing a tantrum, but only in that Nelson's strangely adorable.

"I want to be here," he says quietly. "If you really don't want me here I'll go. But I'm not just here because of some promise or sense of duty. I want to be here with you. For whatever you need me for."

Nelson's mouth opens, then closes again, and Dave forces himself to wait for his response. "I don't...." he starts, then sighs. "I feel idiot."

"I know you're not."

Nelson shakes his head. "Proud. Too proud. I...." His eyes flick back up to Dave's, a sudden vulnerability in them. "Don't... see me -- like this. Please."

The sudden ache in his heart that Nelson's words awake surprises him, leaves him unable to answer for a moment. He reaches out to rest a hand on Nelson's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Hey now. I've already seen you at far worse than this, haven't I? My opinion of you's not going to change. You're still brilliant and you're still my best friend, Nelson. And..." He swallows hard. "Considering that I almost lost you I think I'm entitled to feel a little needy."

"If I... don't better? Recover?" Nelson's clipped words are soft and brittle, fearful, and Dave squeezes his shoulder again.

"I'll still want to be here."

Nelson turns his face away quickly, though Dave's still half certain that he saw a glint of tears behind those glasses. Dave steps into him before he can stop himself, hand sliding from his shoulder across the top of his back, feeling tension in his muscles and wanting to sooth him. He half expects that Nelson will pull away, but his friend leans into him ever so slightly, and for a long moment Dave just stays there, still and silent and unexpectedly comfortable with their closeness. He can count on one hand the number of times that he's seen Nelson like this, quiet and vulnerable and with none of the masks that he wears, and he realizes suddenly that it's more endearing than he ever could have expected.

"Thank you," Nelson says softly, finally. "I... will do -- better."

"And I'll try to respect your limits and not to push you so hard," Dave responds, "I know how frustrating this all must be for you."

Nelson shakes his head. "Your job," he says, pushing a finger against Dave's shoulder, a faint smile on his lips. "Villain.”

Dave quirks an eyebrow. “I’m a villain now?”

Nelson shakes his head, but he’s still smiling. “Sorry, I mean… Competition. Always."

"Yeah?" Dave can't help but return the smile. "Does that mean I should start flirting with all your unreasonably attractive doctors and therapists?"

Nelson's eyes flick up to his, and Dave sees a momentary, unexpected flash of hurt before his friend steps away from him. Too late, Dave remembers Rachel and realizes he's said the wrong thing. He can visibly see Nelson's mask come back into place - he straightens and squares off his shoulders, the habitual cockiness coming back into his expression - and Dave feels an intense wave of regret.

"Whore," Nelson says, quirking an eyebrow pointedly, and despite his disappointment in the change in dynamic Dave forces himself to laugh. At least he's still talking.

"Hey, I'm not the one with every cute female doctor or nurse within a hundred miles fawning over me."

Nelson shrugs, still smirking. "I'm... good. Handsome."

"Too handsome for your own good," Dave replies easily, grinning. He jerks his head towards the small television in the corner of Nelson's main room, and the blocky modern couch beside it that's thankfully much more comfortable than it looks. "Let's just veg out for a while, okay? I think we've worked enough today."

~~~

Four  
~

It's halfway to December before Dave realizes that he's been so focused on Nelson that he hasn't even talked to Rachel since the incident. Not really _talked_ , not more than conversational pleasantries or discussions about school. He feels a sudden surge of guilt at the realization – he’s never been so inattentive to anyone he’s slept with in the past, intentionally or otherwise – and immediately resolves to fix it.

He catches her at the back of class one day during a work session, sliding into the chair beside her and moving it closer to her. “Hey. Are you doing okay?”

Rachel puts down her pen and leans back in her chair, regarding him thoughtfully for a moment. She looks peaceful, Dave realizes, with a quiet confidence to her that he hasn’t seen before. It’s a stark contrast to the Rachel he took to bed with him, trembling and desperate for his protection.

“I’m good,” she says, and smiles, still watching him. “You, Dave?”

Dave lets out a long breath. “Yeah,” he says finally, forcing himself to look away. His eyes fall on Nelson. Their instructor, Doctor Fillios, is leaning over him in a way that Dave can’t help but think is too close and too familiar, her hand on his shoulder as she speaks to him. Dave forces himself to look back at Rachel. “Look, I just… wanted to apologize. I’ve been kind of absent since… you know. It was lousy of me. What happened between us….”

“It’s fine,” Rachel replies immediately, shaking her head. “Just a spur of the moment thing, you know? I needed someone, you needed to take care of someone, we got what we needed. I didn’t expect anything else.”

“Yeah?” Dave watches her worriedly, trying to decide whether or not she’s telling the truth. She doesn’t seem angry, at least. “You sure?”

“You know it’s true. I’m fine, Dave, really. I’m actually really good. What we did - all of us, I mean, not just you and me – that was the closure I needed.”

Dave realizes that she's telling the truth, and he smiles. “I’m really glad for that, then.”

“Thank you. And I do appreciate you being there for me that night. It was really good, you really helped. And I’m glad you have a new project now.”

Dave glances over to Nelson before he can stop himself, and tries to ignore the fact that Doctor Fillios’ hand is still on his shoulder. “It’s not like that.”

“No?” Rachel snorts. “Come on, Dave. Fixing people is kind of your kink, you can’t deny that.”

“Nelson’s my friend. And he needs me.”

“Exactly. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Just…” she stops and sighs, watching him. “You should really consider sticking around sometimes. To enjoy what you build.”

He looks back to her in guilt. “I should have paid more attention to you. I’m sorry, Rachel.”

She shrugs, mouth twisting into a half smile, though there’s still no bitterness in it. “Nah. Not sure I would have kept you around anyway, no offence. You’re great and all but I don’t think we’re really couple material.”

“No?” Dave feels like he should be insulted, but instead he’s just relieved. And a little curious. “Why not?”

“I don’t know, we just…” Rachel sighs, watching him. “We’re comfortable together. But I don’t want to just feel comfortable with someone. I want my heart to ache with the vivid intensity of just… nervousness and love and worry and adoration and joy and just… all the emotions in the book. I feel like it’s not really love otherwise, you know?”

“I guess so,” Dave replies, though he’s never really thought of it that way before. Has he even felt that way about anyone before? “I’m still sorry, though. I should have paid more attention to you.”

“Dave, it’s fine. Really.” Rachel pats his arm, her smile, kind. “Just take care of Nelson. You’re the only one he trusts, you know. Don’t fuck it up.”

The realization of the truth of her words comes as a shock, and he feels a little dazed as he gets to his feet. “Yeah… yeah, I uh… I won’t. Thanks.”

~~~

Five  
~~

 

“Ball. Fish. Banana. B… femur. Rib cage. Car.”

They’ve gone through the flash cards so many times that they’re barely a challenge, so Dave bought a sharpie and has started sketching new things on the reverse side of the card to add to the list. He pushes the last card closer to Nelson. “Car? That’s a 1986 Firebird, that’s way more than just a car.”

Nelson snorts. “It’s a… keep cold things. Fridge. A fridge box on wheels.” He smiles triumphantly.

“Are you insulting my art, or my taste in cars?”

“Both,” Nelson replies immediately, smirking. “You drive a… soldier jeep.”

“Touché.” Dave lays down the flash cards and leans over the table towards his friend. He’s still mixing up words, but he seems to be able to correct himself much more quickly. “You’re getting much better, you know. Soon you won’t need me at all.”

Dave sees a flicker of unexpected emotion in Nelson’s eyes, but it’s locked away as his friend glances away. “You’re very….” It takes a long moment for him to get the next word out, and his eyebrows furrow for a moment. “Optimistic.”

Dave shrugs. “Well yeah, that’s my nature. But I know you. You’re brilliant. In everything. Look, I’ve been thinking about the Christmas break. You don’t have plans, do you?”

He’s certain Nelson doesn’t. He hasn’t been home once in all the years they’ve spent at school; with both his parents dead and his much older sister estranged there isn’t much point. Nelson confirms his thoughts by shaking his head.

“I was thinking I might just stay in town,” Dave continues. “Save on gas money and all that. We could just have a bit of an orphan Christmas here, if you want. Couldn’t we?”

Nelson’s expression is carefully guarded as he watches him speak. “Your family?”

“It’s fine. I can go home over Easter. You need me more here.”

Nelson’s expression grows instantly cold, leaving Dave wondering what he’d said wrong. He shakes his head, not looking at Dave. “I’m fine. Go home.”

"No, I want to stay with you."

Blue eyes flash icy behind his glasses, and Nelson meets his gaze directly, angry. "Dave, not project. I’m. Not. Your. Project." he says, slow and hard and cold. "Go home."

His words are too close to the conversation he'd had with Rachel, and Dave feels a chill run through him. "It's not like that. I mean, of course I want to be here to help you, but I really do want to spend Christmas here." Taking care of Nelson has been his primary motivation, but Dave is surprised by how much Nelson's rejection hurts. By how much he just wants to stay. "Nelson - "

" _No_." Nelson cuts him off. "I don't need. You’ll go when you’re done anyway. So go now. Go home. Now."

"Why the hell are you so angry? Because I wasn't too spend Christmas with you? Fine, if you don't want me here, fuck it. Sorry I fucking asked."

"Fine." Nelson stands, pushing his chair back, and disappears into the bedroom.

Dave hears the swish of the bolt and rage boils over. "This again? Are you fucking serious? Fine, have your goddamn temper tantrum!" Staying and arguing seems so infuriatingly futile, so he stalks out of the apartment, shutting the door hard behind him as he leaves.

~~~

One  
~

Once Dave's in his jeep the anger ebbs, replaced by a nauseous twisting in his stomach. He tries to cling to the rage. He has every right to be angry at Nelson for flying off the handle for no fucking reason. But he can't put aside the bitter disappointment of having failed his friend, without even knowing why or how.

His heart is still aching when he walks into his apartment. It feels like he should fall into bed, but he hasn't been home this early in ages, so he sets himself to busy work, cleaning and tidying and trying to think about anything but Nelson.

It doesn't work.

Why should Nelson, of all people, be able to upset him like this? Part of him wants to drive back and spout apologies all Nelson's locked door until he opens it and gives in. Party of him wants to go back and demand answers, though the thought of forcing Nelson to stumble through an explanation of his actions seems cruel and make Dave feel even worse.

Then the phone rings, the shrill bell jarring Dave from his thoughts so unexpectedly that he bites his tongue and curses at the shock of pain. "Hello?"

"David." Nelson's is soft, heavy with emotion. "I'm sorry."

Dave sighs. "I'm sorry too. I know this is frustrating for you, and you have every right to be. I shouldn't get mad at you. And whatever it was that made you mad... I'm sorry about that, too."

"David...." He hears Nelson draw a soft breath. "Come here? I... want to talk."

"Now?"

"Please...."

Dave sighs, and almost makes him promise not to continue the argument. "Okay. I'll be over in a few."

Nelson's sitting back at his desk when Dave pushes his front door back open. He's surrounded by crumpled sheets of loose leaf like some tortured bohemian writer in a movie, and he purses his lips in annoyance and crumples the last one before standing, meeting his gaze wearily.

Dave feels an unexpected nervousness as he returns it, not knowing where he stands and suddenly not being able to stand the thought of Nelson thinking badly of him. "I'm sorry," he starts, and the words keep spilling from his lips. "I never meant to imply you were helpless or in any way not okay without me, I promise, and I’m not just here to just fix you and leave. I don't ever want you to feel like I think anything bad of you. I just legitimately wanted to stay with you. Before all this happened, when you asked me to be the one to bring you back, I...." He stops, the realization hitting him. "I liked feeling like I was important to you."

"You are," Nelson says quietly, but he looks away, mouth twisting into a smile that has more hopeless sorrow in it than joy. "But you… shouldn't be."

"Why not?" Dave’s heart leaps in elation, then falls back to helplessness, and he wants to give Nelson a hundred arguments. He forces himself to wait.

“I tried to write, but…” Nelson closes his eyes, visibly struggling as broken words tumble from his lips. “Dave… you and I. Not same. The people you like – you hold women, you don’t – what I beg - “ he makes a soft, defeated noise, looking up at him again. “I’m not heteronormative.”

His frustration leaves Dave feeling helpless, wanting to comfort him, somehow make things better. He shakes his head. “ _Heteronormative?_ Nelson, I’m sorry, I… I don’t understand. Can you try again?”

Nelson’s sigh is nearly heartbreaking, and Dave half expects him to go for his room again. But instead he steps closer, resting both hands on Dave’s shoulders, and Dave can feel them tremble. He meets his gaze, fear and determination both plain in his eyes as he swallows hard, then speaks. “David. I _need_ you.”

Dave shakes his head. “You have me. Nelson, I’m not gonna leave unless you push me away, I promise. Whatever you need – “

“No.” Nelson gives a soft, helpless laugh, closing his eyes briefly. Then he leans closer, bringing his lips to Dave’s in the space between heartbeats, fleeting and trembling and so soft that the brush barely registers.

Dave gives a whimper of surprise as a thousand realizations rush through his mind at once, a flood of thoughts and emotions so heavy he hardly knows which to process first. Nelson wanting men, Nelson wanting _him_. The way his heart had leapt into his throat at the barest contact of his lips, how long it’s been since his heart’s leapt like that. The last time he’d felt like that, that drunken party his last year of high school when he’d kissed his friend on a dare, and how disappointing it had been to have to hide the way it made him feel.

Then one realization outshines the others: that everything Rachel had said about love – the experience of feeling that vivid nervousness and love and worry and adoration and joy – all those things are what he’s been feeling for Nelson.

His eyes flick to where Nelson is watching him, silent and frozen and tense, and he blurts the first words that come to mind. “I’m bisexual.”

Nelson’s eyebrows raise behind his glasses, but some of the tension leaves his shoulders. “You never said.”

“You never said either,” Dave points out, then closes his eyes and bites back a curse at his own stupidity. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…. Fuck, I’m doing a terrible job at this.”

Nelson’s hands start to slide from his shoulders, and Dave realizes that the last thing he wants is for his friend to pull away. He wraps an arm around his waist, setting thought and words aside, leaning in to return Nelson’s tentative kiss with a single-minded determination and a sudden rush of desire that blossoms inside him.

Nelson melts against him like he’s been waiting for it, arching close with a soft moan, fingers stroking up his neck to curl in his hair. His lips part invitingly, moan soft and relieved in the back of his throat, all of it just making Dave want him more. He takes the invitation, tasting the heat and unexpected sweetness of his mouth, pulling him closer, drinking in Nelson’s soft, needy moan. “Oh god, David….”

The relief and elation of this realization is heady and overwhelming, and paired with his awakened desire it leaves Dave wanting nothing more than to touch and kiss and worship Nelson, to give him everything he wants and take everything he offers. He forces himself to break from Nelson's lips, resting his forehead against his. He strokes his hands down his spine, the dip at the small of his back, pulling him closer so that he can feel the warmth of Nelson's form pressed against his.. "I need you too," he whispers, fingers clenching in the back of his shirt, a million words running through his head and none of them seeming right. "That's why I've wanted so badly to be here for you, to be here with you, and everything..." he stops, letting out a long breath. “I want this. With you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize."

Nelson's trembling smile is fragile and incredulous as he strokes his fingers through Dave’s hair and down the back of his neck. Then his lips are pressed to Dave's again, drawing him in, and Dave stops thinking about everything except how good this feels. Nelson is warm and pliant and willing in his arms, arching close as they kiss, and part of Dave can’t help but think that he’s never seen Nelson give himself over to anything like this.

“Don’t disappear,” Nelson breathes, and regardless of whether or not the turn of phrase is intentional, Dave holds him tighter.

“I won’t. I promise.”

As much as he wants to drag Nelson off to his room, the part of him that’s barely kissed a boy before now says that this is far too much, too fast. Thankfully Nelson seems to sense his hesitance to go further, and they end up curled on his couch instead, mostly ignoring the TV. He’s still completely pliant and willing in his arms, and Dave indulges in his desire for slow, sweet kisses, letting his fingers slowly map Nelson’s chest and stomach over his shirt, drinking in the way his breath hitches against Dave’s mouth as they kiss.

It’s probably the longest either of them has gone without saying anything, and strangely now more than ever Dave misses Nelson’s witty banter and cocksure arrogance. At the same time, there’s something beautiful and completely appealing about this quiet, docile Nelson and the mix of desire and vulnerability Dave can see in his eyes. He’s been half hard almost since they started kissing, but it’s less overwhelming to focus on Nelson, trading kisses and touch until Nelson’s whimpering and breathless, urging him close, gasping soft pleas and encouragements as Dave pins him back into the corner of the couch. “God, David… please….”

He presses a kiss to Nelson’s forehead, trying to catch his breath. “Do you think I should go?”

Nelson shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he looks up at him, fingers stroking over his jaw and up into his hair. “Please stay,” he says, voice both soft and husky, and it makes part of Dave want to rip his clothes off immediately. “Even… only to sleep.”

Dave turns his face to press a kiss to the inside of Nelson’s wrist, feeling a little anxious. “Do you only want it to be sleeping?”

Nelson hesitates, searching his gaze. “No,” he says softly, finally. “But… how bisexual are you, David?”

“I’m… not the particularly experienced kind,” Dave forces a smile to cover the sudden surge of nervousness.

Nelson nods, as if not particularly surprised. “No hurry,” he says, voice still soft. “But I want… to be close. To you.”

His lips are too inviting, and Dave dips his head to steal another kiss from them. “Let’s just go to bed? No hurry.”

It’s a comforting thought, even though he knows full well that he’s not going to be able to keep his hands off of Nelson. With his friend stretched out next to him in nothing but thin cotton boxers he can’t stop himself from touching him, hands sliding over the firm planes of his chest, his cotton covered hips, and when Nelson urges him on top of him he rocks his hips down against him instinctively, groaning at the hardness he can feel pressed against him. Nelson slides his hands down to cup and clench his ass, encouraging more, and Dave responds with a harder thrust, sensation flooding through him. “Fuck, Nelson….”

Nelson whimpers, arching under him, drawing a shuddering breath against his lips. “You’ll stay, right?”

Dave lets himself kiss along his jaw, licking over the stubble roughness and finding it intoxicating. “Oh fuck, I’m sure as hell not going anywhere right now.”

“More than tonight.”

He pulls back to see the same vulnerability in Nelson’s eyes as before, and it makes his heart ache. He kisses him softly, slow and long, moving a hand to cup his cheek. “Long as you’ll have me,” he murmurs, and it’s an easy promise to make. “Told you… I wanna be important to you.”

His words visibly overwhelm his friend, and he holds him close, pressing soft kisses to his eyelids, his forehead. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Wanted this so much,” Nelson breathes, arching into him, “I – always. So long. I wanted to… tell you so much….” He draws a trembling breath. “So afraid.”

Dave tries to soothe him with another soft kiss. “You don’t need to be. Not now. Won’t leave you.” He remembers Rachel’s words and smiles. “Even when you’re back to normal, running circles around me with words and beating my pants off in school.”

Nelson’s eyebrows raise slightly and he slides a hand over the curve of Dave’s ass. “They’re off now.”

“So they are.” Dave laughs, kissing him longer, deeper. “We don’t have to rush this if you don’t feel up to it, you know. I’m happy just to be with you.”

“David…” Nelson watches him for a moment, eyes searching his face as he brings a hand up to trace his fingertips trace his jaw. “So much I wanted to say… Never brave enough before. Now I can’t.” He lets out a soft huff of a laugh. “Ironic.”

Dave chews his bottom lip, regarding him. “… do you want to show me?”

A slow smile spreads across Nelson’s lips as he takes in his words. Then he’s urging him back into the bed, claiming his mouth, pressing warm kisses along his jaw that quickly grown more heated. “Thank you,” he murmurs, nuzzling his ear. “For everything. My David….”

“I like how that sounds,” Dave breathes, biting his bottom lip on a moan as Nelson slides a hand down to cup his cock through his boxers. “God, Nelson….”

“I like how that sounds,” Nelson echoes, voice warm and appreciative, still stroking him slowly. He draws back to look down at Dave as he slides a hand into his boxers, fingers curling around his cock, smile widening at the rather embarrassing whimper it pulls from Dave’s lips.

Dave arches up against his hand, groaning as Nelson’s thumb swipes slick through the arousal at the head of his cock, teasing against the sensitive nerve endings in all the right ways. He rocks up into his hand, instinctively chasing sensation. “Oh fuck. God, Nelson, please….”

“Please?” Nelson seems to be enjoying his desperation, a hint of his old arrogance in his expression. He keeps his touch teasingly, maddeningly slow, and Dave’s caught between wanting to cover Nelson’s hand with his own to force him to go faster, and pinning him to the bed again so he can rut against him until he comes.

“More,” he begs, trying to writhe up into his touch. “God, please more, anything you want, just - fuck, Nelson, you drive me crazy –“

Nelson kisses away his words with a low, appreciative moan. His hand leaves Dave’s cock to pull his boxers down, and then he’s sliding down the length of his body, pressing hungry kisses to his skin. His lips part over the head of Dave’s cock without hesitation, and then all Dave can think about is how good it feels. Nelson’s mouth is hot and wet and eager, and that obvious eagerness and desire is what makes it hotter than anything Dave can remember. His hands stroke over his hips and thighs as his lips slide down his shaft again and again, cheeks hollowed, low groans vibrating through him.

Dave’s fingers clench at his shoulders, his hair, the back of his neck, trying to anchor himself against the flood of sensation. It’s too much, too good after being worked up for so long, and soon he’s grasping desperately at the shreds of his self-control. “Fuck, Nelson, gonna make me come so hard – “

Nelson’s answering groan is completely wanton, and he moves one hand to cup Dave’s balls, knuckles rubbing against the soft skin behind them. It’s more than Dave can take, and he comes with a shout, overwhelmed by the pleasure his lover inflicts, by the way Nelson groans and swallows down every bit of his climax like it’s the best thing he’s ever experienced.

The way Nelson smirks up at him when he finally pulls back is almost just as satisfying.

Dave returns his smile, still catching his breath, and strokes his fingers through Nelson’s hair. “Don’t you look like the cat that swallowed the canary.”

Nelson chuckles low in his throat, glancing down at Dave’s cock pointedly. “Is that what you named it?”

A surprised laugh bubbles from Dave’s lips, and he pulls Nelson back up into his arms, kissing him warmly. “You cocky bastard.”

“It’s why you love me,” Nelson murmurs against his lips in reply, and regardless of whether or not he’d meant to say that, the way it makes Dave’s heart twist leaves his own feelings unmistakable.

“I do, you know. Love you.”

Nelson freezes, vulnerability reclaiming his expression, and Dave tries to kiss it away, stroking his fingers up into his hair. “Is that all right?”

Nelson nods silently and kisses him harder, trembling, and Dave does his best to put every reassurance into his kisses and touch, stroking his hands over his lover’s trembling form as he claims his mouth again and again. Finally he slides his hand into Nelson’s boxers, kissing away the desperate, needy sob it draws from his lover’s lips. “Shh… I’ve got you… wanna make you feel so good, Nelson….”

Nelson’s fingers clench into his back, hips arching into his touch. His cock is beautifully thick and hard in Dave’s fingers, and he finds it amazingly gratifying, stroking him slowly, thumb stroking through the slick of his arousal. He teases the sensitive underside of his head with his thumb, rubbing gently against his frenulum and pressing into the slit, moaning at the helpless whine it pulls from Nelson’s throat.

“Tell me how to please you,” he murmurs, kissing him again, fingers stroking the length of his shaft. “Wanna make you come….”

“This,” Nelson breathes in response, hips bucking up into his touch. He whimpers as Dave tightens his grip slightly, breath coming harder. “Just this. Oh fuck, David – “

Dave shifts under him, urging him more onto his side and pushing his boxers down so he can stroke him more easily. He rubs his thumb across the head of his lover’s cock, slicking arousal down his shaft, claiming his mouth as he starts a slow, insistent pace. “So gorgeous,” he murmurs against his lips, quickening his pace. “Figures even your cock is gorgeous. Fuck, feels so good to touch you….”

It’s much, much different than jerking himself off. Far more gratifying, feeling Nelson shudder against him, hips arching up into the stimulation, fingers biting into his back, and if he hadn’t just come Dave’s certain he would be very hard indeed. Nelson seems completely helpless to the pleasure he inflicts, and the thought of doing this again, doing more, is so incredibly appealing that Dave can’t help but want more.

“My Nelson,” he breathes, trailing hot kisses along his jaw, nipping at his neck and nuzzling his ear. “So fucking sexy, baby. Never gonna let you out of bed, want you so bad, every part of you – “

“Yours,” Nelson gasps, and pulls his face back to his kisses. His hips jerk up into Dave’s fist, and Dave can feel the tension in his body crest and break as his cock pulses in his fingers. Nelson gives the most beautiful, desperate cry as he comes, lips trembling against Dave’s, and Dave kisses him through it, stroking each spurt of come from his cock until his lover finally relaxes against him, gasping for breath.

“My Nelson,” he murmurs again, holding him close, pressing soft kisses to his skin. “My love…. God, feels so good to be with you… to take care of you…”

Nelson nods silently, pressing a trembling kiss to his skin, stroking his fingers up into Dave’s hair. “I want you to,” he breathes, and draws a long, slow breath. “Need you. Always. David….”

“You know I will,” Dave promises. He catches Nelson’s hand and presses a kiss to the palm. “As long as you’ll have me.”

“I know.” Nelson swallows hard. “That’s you. It’s why… you’re the one. The only one. I knew I could trust… you’d bring me back. No matter what.”

The reminder of that night, of how close he’d come to almost losing Nelson entirely, brings with it a flood of emotion. He clutches Nelson to him tightly, drawing a shivering breath. “Please don’t ever do that again. God, Nelson….”

Nelson nods, returning his embrace, pressing a kiss to his skin. “Promise,” he murmurs, stroking his skin. “My love. Can’t leave you now, I… I’ve loved you too long.”

It’s everything Dave’s always wanted to hear, even if he’s just now realizing it. More than anything he’s always just wanted Nelson to need him, and the realization that he needs Nelson just as badly makes everything seem… perfect.

“Perfect,” he murmurs aloud, and kisses his lover gently, basking in the warmth of his trust and love.

~~ End ~~


End file.
